NEWS FLASH
Informed sources claim to have discovered
evidence that neither Gage Coulon nor her soon-to-be-ex fiancee,
Julian Dierkes, have diplomas from a proper high school ...Julian is
rumored to have made a feeble attempt, but then decided to take a path
of less resistance already travelled by Gage...our sources continue to
be amazed how far you can get without a proper degree...
THE GHOST OF WEDDINGS PAST
Julian is reputed to be a notorious overdresser
at weddings...in 1989 he and his brother were seen being the only
people dressed up and in suits at a back-woods wedding in someplace
remote (might have been sacramento or modesto, who can tell)...that
wedding also served as an inspiration in some other ways...julian and
gage have decided NOT to conduct a quick (two minutes max) ceremony in
a remote corner of the front yard before all of the guests have caught
on to the fact that something important is about to happen and the
couple and the families have decided NOT to spend the first few hours
after the ceremony unwrapping and cataloging the various toasters and
microwaves that they are looking forward to receiving...they will,
however, be picking up on the idea of having relatives provide some of
the music...manfred is said to have made firm assurances about NOT
limiting his performance to country and western tunes...but if you ask
nicely, he might dig up one or two of his old favorites and cut
loose...
ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY, SIX YEARS AGO
Julian beat Ansgar in
chess and has vowed never to play again to preserve that record...
ON THIS DAY TEN YEARS AGO
Julian was the proud owner of at least
fifteen odd and novel baseball caps. The elk cap is held in fond memory
by those lucky enough to have seen it in action.
ON THIS DAY TWELVE YEARS AGO
Julian and his brother Ansgar
were just about to embark on their famously instructional bicycle tour of
the Swedish countryside. Their adventures were to include such
highlights as...leaving the lights on when parking the car in the long term
lot (this story repeats)...singing every song they did or didn't know the
words to...tipping over the neat little luggage cart attached to the tandem
a great number of times, at least once at top speed when racing down a
mountain...well, ok, a hill...still, they claim to have been going EXTREMELY
fast and escaped with their lives only by sheer coincidence...also the trip
featured attacks by vicious animals, waking up to find Julian sound
asleep with his head in a puddle, and that famous lesson in
personal...well, its personal and you'll just have to ask him yourself.
OTHER EVENTS IN HISTORY
Twenty years of field hockey!...no, it's not
a girls' sport...tweny years of friendship with our chief fireworks
engineer...coming to blows with the grade school teacher and returning
triumphantly from the school psychologist visit...that famous and never
properly diagnosed childhood illness of "aua footi" apparently contacted
while living in the US...getting scared, bolting the front door and taking
over the parents' bed and then sleeping through the doorbell, the cat's
screams, the phone ringing, people shouting and the neighbor banging
against the window, all at once...Julian's brother claims to have been out
of the country at the time...